Baby Steps

Baby Steps “You don’t know what is going on inside of me!” I don’t know how many times I have heard that statement. People have a stubborn belief that they know themselves better than anyone else knows them. Almost without exception, those who say those words are defending a broken mess, not knowing how to handle it themselves, but not willing to let anyone else in. Teenagers naturally go through a process of separating from adults, a process of becoming independent. To help them feel good about that transition, many of them buy in to some of the cultural justifications for rejecting the input of those around them. “You can’t tell me what to do.” “It is none of your business.” “I’m goi


In all of the culture wars that are being waged, I wish people could hear one thing. What we think, feel, and hear is filtered by the lens of the heart. We perceive right and wrong from a personal point of view. The relativists among us hear that statement and say, “I told you there is no right and wrong. My truth is my truth.” Those who believe in relative truth missed the word perceive. Truth about human behavior can be judged according to outcomes even as a good science can be judged according to the outcomes of an experiment. There are behaviors that create chaos and destruction. There are behaviors that promote health and well being. I work in the field of addiction recovery. I a

Self Pity

Have you ever tried to help someone who is in self pity? It is like being in quick sand. The more effort you put in, the faster you will sink into an ugly pit right along with them. Anything you say or do to a self pity person can or will be used against you. For that matter, anything that you fail to do or say may be used against you. The core of the self pity person is “I deserve.” So even what you fail to do that fits their “I deserve” mindset can become an offense. The self pity person has a built in defense mechanism against getting better. Their victim mentality all but assures that any advice given will be taken as if it were meant to intentionally wound them. We see life from

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